February 2012
Crying isn’t going to bring anything back.
I still love you. I’ve admitted that. But it wasn’t until we argued the other night and you decided to leave my life once more, did I realize how much I still do. It sucks to love someone who doesn’t love you back, nor even want you at all. It hurts so fucking bad. Sometimes, the pain is just so unbearable. It’s as if my heart is breaking over and over again. I just want to take a knife and cut my...
I had built myself up so that I would be happy again, by myself. Then you came back and slowly broke me down somehow. Not on purpose, but it happened because of my mistakes. Now, here I am, trying to build myself up again. Bit by bit, from square one.. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. You didn’t love me anymore. But I kept holding on in hopes that you still did.
Failure is an event, not a person.
You never cussed. The only time you ever did was when we joked around. And even then, you rarely did. Every time I would cuss, you’d be like ”Babe. Vulgar language!” because you would try to help me stop cussing. I thought it was the cutest thing. & Most of all, when we argued, you never yelled or raised your voice and never cussed at me. That’s one of the reasons I liked you so much.
I thought I was happy.
Ever since we ended, I kept hoping that you would never stop loving me. There were signs that maybe you still did, especially after you forgave me and we became friends again. But even after we became friends again, we would argue as if we were still together. After everything we went through, after we broke up, people were convinced that you never stopped loving me. But I wasn’t. I knew you...
Watching videos of Jayna from before she even turned 8 months old.
I miss her as a baby. My baby girl grew up too fast ):
5 tags
So I lost my external hard-drive after my second boyfriend and I broke up. I assumed he took it. I was devastated because it had so many old pictures, especially Jayna’s baby pictures.
When I got conheo-babo (my new laptop), my dad handed me an extra hard-drive so I can back up my pictures from my old laptop. I plugged it in today, and it needed a password. I checked the hint and it was:...
Don’t let someone else’s judgement shape yours. Go by your own.
I want to sit down and have a talk with you. But when you’re right in front of me, I get weak and can’t say what I need to say.
Communication. We argued but never ended on the same page. We just kept making up. That’s what was wrong.
My best friend used to complain about having to deal with me talking about my sex life and putting images in her head. Now she’s complaining because I won’t share any details with her.
So indecisive with what she wants. Sheesh.
They keep saying Give him a little time to figure things out and he’ll come around. I’ve been waiting. We’ve both moved on. Not sure about letting go, but we’ve both been with different people already. I got rid of the things I knew was wrong with me. I got myself and my life back together, on my own. I got everything straight. & Still I find myself waiting. I still see nothing. Maybe a fake...
boywandering:
Maybe one day I’ll think back to this very moment and wonder what my life would have been like if I had made the other choice. I know that doubt will always linger, that no matter what I do, I’ll always be calculating and analyzing, weighing the opportunity cost of the opportunities that I’ve missed. I know that I’ve chosen the high road, the hard road, the long and winding road,...
You see, being with you made me happy, even if it was only for a split second… Until I snapped back into reality once I remembered it was all fake.
I want to believe people when they say that you still care, that you still love me. But I can’t. Because I know you don’t. Every moment, every word. It’s all fake now. Maybe it wasn’t for me. But for you, it was....
Lately, my obsession has been knee high socks. I only wear knee high socks now. They keep me extra warm in my jeans.
“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact...”
– The Perks of Being A Wallflower
